I feel great. I feel energized, motivated, strong. I loved my run, even though it was short.
I actually didn't mind the cold - I just dressed warmer. I would love to go every morning - it would be a great start to my day.
However, I don't want to gain muscle from running. Not yet. I weighed myself this morning, and got a very dissapointing number. 173.
So, with renewed energy, I'm back to square one. No food for me today.
I'm going to have 1 hard boiled egg and no more.
If I don't give my body food, then it can't build muscle. There's no way I'll give up running, so I give up food.
I'll probably go for another (longer) run later and burn more calories, because of the whale that I am.
There's probably no way I can still make 162 by the end of November. 11 lbs? No way. But I will damn near try.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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