I have a midterm tomorrow. Which I will most likely fail, considering she said that my study guide sucked. I had all the information, but it just requires memorizing a lot of mathematical formulas, which I am so bad at. I can only hope and do the best I can, but I just feel kind of lethargic. Like no matter how much energy I put into school, I will always get the same result back. It will never be enough.
I can't wait for school to be over, so I can just breathe. I need a very long break, and a chance to have fun. I don't want to stress out like I have been. I just have to make it until December, and then things will start to get easier. The only problem with that is that it's 2 months away, and things are going to get a lot harder yet before they get better.
I'm so angry with myself. With the way I've let things become, with the situations I've put myself into, with the way I've let myself be. There is no excuse for it, and I'm sorry to anyone that has had to deal with me.
I deserve anything and everything that comes my way. And I have no right to say anything about it.
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
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