The darkness is dragging me down tonight.
Every thought I have just pulls me farther down, makes me angrier. Every thought I have just makes me want to cut more and destroy everything.
I don't want to sit down, or be still. But I don't want to move and be seen either.
I want to throw everything around me, scream, punch a few walls, destroy. I want to cry - if only I knew how.
But I can't do any of that. In two days time I have to go back to school. I'm not ready! I'm not together yet. I'm not stable enough, and I'm terrified. I have colleges to apply to, pefection to reach, and things to do. But I'm just not good enough!
I am me.
I am not perfect.
I try to do the best that I can, set goals that I can reach, and do anything to achieve them.
But I've gotten a little lost along the way, and now here I am, struggling with Anorexia, Depression, and Self Harm.
My blog isn't supposed to be a happy place. Or an advice giving place. It's just a place that I can write out all my thoughts, everything I feel, without being judged!
Maybe you'll find solace in my struggles, someone to understand. Maybe you'll find interest in watching my journey through my life, or maybe you'll even take one look at this, and turn away. Every reaction is a lesson, and I am here to learn.
This blog is access into my most private thoughts.
With that being said, enjoy!
With that being said, enjoy!
You are good enough. It is all there inside of you. You have to accept that you are good enough, strong enough, and then learn to tap that strength deep within you. Xo dear
ReplyDeleteHow do find that strength? Xx
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